Dear President-elect Obama,

In the next few weeks, you are going to have to make a very important decision–what kind of puppy are you going to get for Sasha and Malia? I know that a lot of people have weighed in on this issue already, but now I think you should get it straight from the dog–that’s me, Max.

Now I know I’m going to be accused of bias, but there are very good reasons why you should consider an Airedale Terrier. From being one myself, I know the following to be true:

1. Airedales have great personalities. We are very smart, playful and loyal. We like to be a part of the family and we are devoted companions. Leave us alone in the Rose Garden by ourselves, however, and we’ll dig our way to China. Look on the bright side; you can make yours a special envoy.
2. Airedales are known as “the thinking breed.” In a household with obvious intelligence, surely you will want a dog that can match wits with you. Be aware that we can be a bit like Congress, however. Just calling us will not always work. You have to find out what motivates us. Otherwise, we’ll find something better to do. Like chase cats.
3. Airedales are great teachers. Given the opportunity, we will pickpocket your daughters’ socks, redistribute toilet paper and tissues and turn your trashcan into our toy box. This will teach Sasha and Malia to keep their things picked up, the puppy out of their bathroom and a lid on the garbage. All good to know!
4. Airedales have a history of service. Airedales were used in World War I to carry messages behind enemy lines and to help the Red Cross find the wounded on the battlefield. Airedales are stoic about pain and we will continue to perform heroically despite very grave injuries to ourselves.  A handy attribute when dealing with the press corps!
5. Airedales have a presidential look. When appropriately groomed and trained, Airedales have a dignified, strong look that can make the most unruly legislator, staffer or visiting dignitary get in line. Truth be told, our bark is worse than our bite. But I wouldn’t cross us. LOL! No, really. Don’t do it.
6. Airedales have White House experience. Presidents Calvin Coolidge, Warren Harding and Theodore Roosevelt all had Airedales while they were in the White House. In fact, Harding’s Airedale, Laddie Boy, had his own chair for Cabinet meetings. Just make mine padded.
7. Airedales shed very little. I know that you have a real concern for Malia’s allergies. Airedales are often chosen for people with allergies because our wiry, double coat sheds very little as long as we get the proper grooming. Surely you will have access to a great groomer in the White House. If not, give me a call and I’ll give you the name of mine.
8. Airedales are comedians. You know, when you take office, you are going to face a lot of tough issues that are no laughing matter. That’s when you’re going to be glad to have an Airedale because that pup will make you laugh about something everyday. You just can’t resist those mischievous bearded faces and those wacky Airedale antics.
9. Full bred Airedale Terriers are available from rescue. My family adopted me from the Humane Society after the local Airedale Rescue group told my mom and dad that I had been surrendered there. National Airedale Rescue has a nationwide network of rescues that can help you find just the right match for your family.
10. Airedales make great philosophers. If you want to see what I mean, read my book, “Life to the Max: Maxims for a Great Life by a Dog named Max.” (Sorry, Airedales like to show off!)

President-elect Obama, I have given you ten good reasons to choose an Airedale puppy for your girls, but don’t just take my word for it. Let me share what literary journalist Chip Brown once wrote about Airedale Terriers. Airedales possess “style, brains and comic wit-everything one looks for in a spouse.” After you think about your girls, just think of Michelle. You’re going to be busy.

Love, Max

Today is the day that people will start circulating all those pictures of their pets dressed up in Halloween costumes. Well, while all you humans are howling with laughter, let me tell you how your pet is probably feeling:

1) Confused.

Why does making your pet uncomfortable bring you so much happiness? I mean, look at this guy, does he look happy? Confucius says, “Dog in costume is distress in disguise!”

Now that makes me howl!

2) Freaked Out.

Don’t expect this cat to stay at home after this. When this cat goes out to “Oui Oui,” it’s going to be au revoir, fools.

3) Humiliated.

This bulldog is so embarrassed, he had to close his eyes. Seriously, would you wear a costume like this? No? Well, then don’t make your dog do it either!

4) Pitiful.

The Force is not a good thing here. If you force your dog to look like something from outer space, expect the War of the Worlds later.

5. Annoyed.

I thought when you were talking about doing corn rows, you were talking about running in the field!

5) Pissed off.

I wouldn’t want to tangle with this cat after he gets this costume off. In fact, I’d move my hand right now.

Ok, maybe people who dress their pets up are not going to put them in the backyard and let them starve, but it just reinforces your pets’ view that you are crazy. Call me a party pooper, but I think this is why dogs bite people!

When you do an Internet search for the most popular dog names, the name Max usually tops the list. (What exceptional taste, people!) I’m not always sure how some sites do their research.  However, in a recent search, I ran across an October 2008 post by Gary Bogue who maintains that according to the American Kennel Club, Max is now the third most popular name for a male dog.

What????? Don’t people know that “Max” means “the greatest” and “Bear” which now tops this list means “big, dumb and clumsy?” Ok, I think my mom says it really means “big, lovable and sometimes clumsy,” but my point is Maxes are smart, fun and full of life. So what would you rather have a big ole oafish Bear rug or a dog who lives Life to the MAX!!! Let me know what you think. Isn’t Max still the number one name for a dog? Or has it been usurped by some un-Bearable alternative?