I know that many of you have been anxious to hear more news about Amber. In the four weeks since her first surgery, I felt that all I had time to do was to cook for her and hand-feed her to try to get her to eat, help her nurse her pain, and take her to various vet appointments to try to find a solution. (Oh yeah, and I had to work and take care of the usual chores, too.) Amber’s pain got so acute that she got into what they call “wind-up” and she would stand or pace for hours, even though we tried everything to get her to lie down. We also tried all sorts of medications, homeopathic remedies, and alternative treatments, but any results were either short-lived, didn’t faze her, or made things worse. All during this time, she stumped the surgeon and vets by not registering any pain when the surgery site was palpitated.

Finally, on Thursday last week, when I took her back to her regular vet, Dr. Wight was finally able to palpitate a knot on the end of the femur stump that made her register pain. Since Amber’s cancer had been confined to the cartilage, it had been decided not to amputate the whole leg, leaving the femur stump to give her more balance. Unfortunately, Amber was the rare dog who constantly moved her stump—in fact, our surgeon, Dr. Monarski, said that he had never seen a dog who moved her femur as much as Amber. In doing so, she built up fibrous tissue on the end of the stump that was believed to be causing her pain. Amber had probably been feeling it long before we could detect anything.

Now we were faced with a painful reality, we either had to put Amber through another surgery to remove the rest of the stump or we would have to let her go. As I sat in the vet’s office and watched her—in spite of her pain— “make her bed” with the big, soft comforter the techs had laid out for her on the floor, I knew she was still not ready to give up, so neither could we. On Friday, we took her back to the hospital and the rest of the femur was removed. The good news is that the procedure went smoothly and she does seem to be in less pain.

Amber's second release from the hospital came a little slower.

But there is a lot of recovery to go and after another restless night, we are now confining her to a large kennel instead of just a room in the house because we think she tries to be too active just to be with us.

A difficult act of love--confining Amber to ensure her recovery.

That’s the things about dogs; they will do anything to please us—even if it means putting themselves in pain or harm’s way. And always trying to be good dog parents, we do our best to be worthy of their unconditional love.

Perhaps, Amber’s story will light the way for some other pet parent or canine amputee. Or maybe she will be that one atypical case that will help vets better understand how to anticipate and treat post-amputation complications. Or perhaps, Amber is merely enduring this to remind us what true acts of courage and love are all about. Last week, during Valentine’s Day—a time when we also typically mark Max’s birthday—I began to reflect on how recent events exemplify true acts of love. I never had time to finish that post until today. Here is what I have been thinking about:

There is so much hype and expectation around holidays like Valentine’s Day that it can obfuscate genuine gestures of love. Acts of love are actually much simpler than we humans make it as our dogs remind us.

1. While treats are nice, it is not the flowers, chocolates, or jewelry that will be most remembered. It is the belly scratch, the run in the park, or just the sitting side-by-side in supportive silence that epitomize pure acts of love. In the four weeks since Amber’s first surgery, we have watched our younger Airedale, Krissy, do this for Amber. She has lain quietly outside of Amber’s kennel, just offering her presence, knowing without knowing. As humans, this is a lesson we should note: Love is shown more in a series of small gestures than in big, flashy gifts. Just being present for someone else is the greatest gift.
2. Love is there when we show compassion. When we respond to another’s experience with patience and understanding, we can help heal the situation. If we simply impose our will, we will be met with resistance. Dogs are very sensitive beings and they know if you are coming from a place of true loving kindness. They may not like the Elizabethan collar, taking pills, or being kenneled, but they will cooperate more if they can feel your compassion. Could we be better humans if we showed more compassion for others’ experiences rather than judging or forcing our own perception on the situation?
3. Even when we don’t fully understand or when we sometimes disagree, we show our love when we listen. During the last few weeks, we didn’t always understand why Amber couldn’t just lie down and rest and we often felt frustrated that the solutions didn’t seem more obvious. But because we were willing to acknowledge Amber’s experience and respect the veterinarian professionals involved, we could keep partnering for a solution. As humans, do we talk more than we listen in attempt to control the outcome? Sometimes letting go of our position is the most loving thing you can do.
4. When things go wrong or in unexpected ways, it is an authentic act of love and respect not to blame. Approaching challenges with love rather than fear can keep us moving forward, knowing that each of us is doing the best that we can. As Amber’s recovery went sideways over the past few weeks, it would have been easy to blame the vets, blame each other, or even blame her. But having a scapegoat is a distraction from the ultimate goal of speeding her recovery. Conveying gratitude is a genuine gesture of love that keeps everyone looking for solutions rather than looking over their shoulders.
5. One of the most heartfelt gestures of love is when we simply help each other. Over the past few weeks, I have talked with my vet as much as I’ve talked with my husband. Dr. Wight calls daily for updates and offers information, advice and support. We’ve laughed together. Cried together. And made and revised plans together. Consequently, I never felt alone or unsupported. And the same is true of my husband. He has partnered through this crisis every step of the way, just as he always has in our marriage. It is true what they say: When you help others, you actually help yourself.

These are the acts of love that have filled my life over the past few weeks and I am grateful that these experiences have reminded me what love really feels like. While it’s true that I enjoy an occasional present, these are the gifts I truly treasure. And I’ll take that over a dozen roses any day. I think Amber would agree.

The way in which Amber greeted us upon her release from the hospital did not prepare us for the rocky road we have traveled over the last three weeks. Just the day after bringing her home, her stomach turned bright red.

Yikes! Is she bleeding internally??!!

Not wanting her to have to endure the long trip back to the hospital unless absolutely necessary, I emailed a picture of her stomach to the surgeon. He told us that some bruising was to be expected from the surgery, but the picture showed more than he anticipated. He suggested that we mark the area with a marker and if the redness spread, we would have to bring her back in. We did as we were told and the next day the redness subsided. We breathed a short sigh of relief.

But as soon as it came time to remove the Fentanyl pain patch, Amber just couldn’t seem to get comfortable –despite the fact that she was receiving other pain medications. We tried everything to try to make her more comfortable—upping the pain-reliever, Tramadol, which only seemed to make her more anxious; lowering the amount of Tramadol, but giving it more often; treating her with acupuncture, which had no real effect…

I feel like a pin cushion!

…and adding in Gabapentin, an anti-seizure medication that is supposed to help with phantom pain, which made her sleepy, but did not stop the constant twitching. Every day, she just seemed to get a little worse—she didn’t want to eat; she didn’t wag her tail when she saw us; and she pretty much stayed in one spot, except to shift restlessly. Direct palpitation of the surgical site, however, did not seem to register pain with her. We are sure that we drove our vet crazy with our daily calls, trying to figure out what to do for her.

Finally, one night as my husband remarked how enlarged her one hip looked in comparison to the other. I had noticed it, but just thought it was typical swelling from the surgery. Nonetheless, the next day we took her back to our vet, who figured out that Amber was allergic to her sutures and had developed a couple of seromas. Unfortunately, the stitches were not ready to come out yet, but Dr. Wight was able to drain some of the fluid and gave Amber a laser treatment.

Ohhh! That feels good!!

The laser treatment was like a miracle. By the next day, the swelling had reduced substantially and she seemed much more comfortable. Dr. Wight also discovered that Amber’s liver enzymes were elevated, so we started her on a liver cleanse and started to cut back off on the pain medications. Since that time, Amber has had a series of laser treatments and we weaned her off all pain medications long enough for her liver enzymes to be back in the normal range. Amber continues to have issues with twitching and muscle spasms and we have put her back on a low dose of the Tramadol and are going to give Amantadine a try to help the spasms. She has turned a corner for the better, but she has taken the road less traveled.

What alternative pain relief methods have you tried and what’s worked for you?

As reported Amber’s surgery went very well, but we didn’t realize the full extent of its success until we went to pick her up last night from the animal hospital. Charging through the doors, Amber came sprinting towards us on all 3’s, grinning broadly with her tail wagging furiously.

YAY!!! I'm outta here!

The hospital technician ran along beside her, trying to support her with a towel, but she quickly showed us that she didn’t need it.

What are we hanging around here for, Dad? I'm ready to boogie!!

She hadn’t eaten much at the hospital, but the moment she got home, she headed straight for the cupboard that houses her treats and demanded her Greenie. Then she ate, not one, but TWO portions of chicken and brown rice and went outside and pooped. I know this may be more information that you wanted to know, but if you knew the amount of anxiety that existed in my household about how she would be able to handle this, you would know why this was something to celebrate!

Today marks the first anniversary of my mother’s passing and it was just the beginning of many losses that we endured during the past year. When Amber’s cancer was first diagnosed, I wondered: What lesson are we supposed to learn from this? Now I am thinking that perhaps, Amber’s strength of spirit is meant to remind us of our own resilience and adaptability. In the face of change that is compounded by grief, hurt, and disappointment, we humans may wonder how we will get through it all. But Amber shows us that with love and faith, all things are possible. Thanks, Amber, for reminding us who we are with your amazing attitude and incredible courage. As Max and I wrote in Life to the Max, “…be grateful for every teacher who leads you—even if it’s the one at the end of the leash!”

Speaking of gratitude, I want to shout out to our vet, Dr. Tracy Wight and the amazing staff of McClintock Animal Care Center for their continued caring concern, faithful follow up and patient hand- holding. Also we want to thank Dr. Christopher Monarski, Dr. Miller, Donna, Jordan and all the other technicians and staff of VCA Animal Referral and Emergency Center of Arizona who calmly answered all our questions and soothed our fears during this anxious time. If you are in the East Valley in Phoenix, Arizona, you will not find better veterinary professionals.

Stay tuned for more news next week after we meet the oncologist!

I had been annoyed with her. I had come back from our Thanksgiving trip with a sinus infection and I had gotten behind. I wasn’t feeling much in the holiday spirit anyway, but Amber was in it from the moment I entered the house with shopping bags. She would greet me at the door and thrust her whole head in the bag to make sure I wasn’t trying to slip something good past her.

But the night I was wrapping presents was the worst. Even though I had locked our bedroom door, she knew how to thrust her nose against the door just right, so she could pop the lock. In she rushed, running through my wrapping papers…

Amber gets into the holiday spirit!

…pulling ribbons out of my container…

What a sneaky little devil!

…and standing on her back legs to strain to see what toys I had hid for her high in my closet.

Then on Christmas morning, she had been the first one up, trying to push through the barricades we were forced to erect each year to keep her from sneaking her stocking too early.

"Gimme!"

You just had to enjoy the holidays with Amber around.

Those of us who have Airedales in our families know how stalwart these dogs can be and with so much zest for life, how could we have been prepared–just one week after getting a clean bill health from her routine health check-up–that we would receive devastating news?

I had been noticing that Amber was getting up a little slower, but she had knee surgery when she was a puppy and we all thought maybe she was getting a little arthritis. After all, she is almost 11. Then came the day when she and Krissy were doing their usual rough-housing when she came up lame. I took her back to our vet who checked for Valley Fever, but then referred us to us a specialty hospital. Still, I thought it was an orthopedic issue, so I was shocked when the specialist there told me he suspected cancer. A few days later, the bone biopsy revealed chrondrosarcoma—a small piece of good news in the face of the more aggressive osteosarcoma that was originally suspected.

It is hard to step away from your emotions when challenges like these involve your family members. But instead of reproaching yourself for things you might have done differently, you have to be a dog and stay in the moment. You can’t look back and you can’t look too far forward. You have to deal with what’s in front of you right now and only this, nothing more. When we did this, it is very clear to us that Amber is not ready to leave us. Her heart is strong and her lungs are clear. She is always looking forward and her resilience inspires us. The time that we’ve had to deal with this has been short and given her age on paper, decisions have not been easy. But considering her spirit, that bone and cartilage cancer is very painful, and that her bone is at high risk to fracture, we chose to have Amber’s leg amputated today. We ask our friends and fans to send healing thoughts to Amber and to watch our blog for updates. I will be posting about Amber’s journey as a tripod and cancer survivor–because I believe she won’t just survive, she will thrive. I know this because today I am not just a dog; I’m an Airedale!

P.S. Amber is out of surgery and doing very well.

Many of you who have been following my blog and Facebook page know that my mom passed in January. Today is Mother’s Day and tomorrow is my birthday and traditionally, this was always a time of great fun and celebration with my mom.

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I keenly feel her absence, but also clearly feel the part of her that she left behind. It began in her rocking chair.

When I was little girl whenever I was sad, scared or hurt, my mom would take me on her rocker and we would rock back and forth, back and forth until my feelings were soothed. Many disappointments and much loneliness subsided after rocking with mom in her rocker. When I ran across a picture of our Airedale, Bernie, fast asleep on my already napping husband, it reminded me of how powerful this simple act was.

Bernie was a very cute, smart, and sweet puppy, but one day, she just seemed to decide she was a lap dog. Even when she became 70 lb., it didn’t deter her. My husband had fallen asleep on the couch when Bernie discovered him; she crawled up, and fell asleep on his chest. When I found them, the image was so funny that I took the following picture.

When my husband woke up suddenly and realized Bernie was on top of him, he said, “No wonder I was having a dream that I was suffocating!” Hmm…70 lb. of pressure on your chest can give you ideas!

We never quite understood where this lap dog behavior came from until the day I shared the photo with my mom. She looked a little sheepish. “Well, that might have come from me,” she said. “Remember that time you left her with me for the weekend when she was a puppy? I took her on my lap and we’d sit in the rocker and we would just rock and rock for hours.”

Kids, dogs, and grandchildren all took a ride on my mom’s magical rocker and no doubt they felt the same love and reassurance that I had as a child. The legacy continued when I became a mom and my son and I would share hours of stories, soothing conversations, and quiet reflection in our own rocker.

Though today I can’t physically be with my mom, I feel her presence in my life still. Now I see her sitting in her rocker, holding the 70 lb. Bernie on her lap (70 lbs. doesn’t feel very heavy in heaven) and rocking back and forth, back and forth. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom and to all moms who rock our worlds in so many ways!

It’s been a while since I wrote my blog and I apologize to my faithful followers for my absence. Like most of you, I have had a lot on my mind and by the time I left for a short vacation this summer, I was simply exhausted by trying to do too much in too little time. I needed some time to decide what ideas I was going to pursue and which projects I would need to let go.

As I have in the past, I looked to my dogs for inspiration. In their world, their priorities are simple, driven by single-minded needs: “Let’s play!” “Give me a belly rub!” “Feed me!” They are not preoccupied by complex emotions, family dynamics or office politics. Their purpose is pure and singular.  Still, they too have their occasional distractions—“Squirrel!”—but they are quick to refocus on their original intent. Of course, we humans will always experience more drama in our lives. It is simply our nature. But if we follow the wisdom that comes from the end of the leash, we also will realize that whatever challenges we are facing at the moment are just a “Squirrel!” and we can either choose to get caught up in analyzing the chase or simply let it pass and then return to what really gives our lives joy and meaning.

Besides my family, what gives me joy and meaning is when I can help others celebrate life’s everyday moments, promote healthy grieving and help animal rescue. The way I have done that is through the creation of my book Life to the Max: Maxims for a Great Life by a Dog named Max.

Since we launched our book at the end of 2007, we have been trying to raise awareness and funds for animal rescue and in particular, Airedale Terrier rescue. We donate 25% of our sales on our website to help rescue and we have done well.  But because we are small, we have had an uphill battle for awareness and distribution. What’s more, I’ve come to understand that in the book industry, a book has the life of a gnat and it is totally up to the author to keep its promotion alive.

That’s why this holiday season we are rolling out a national advertising campaign; rededicating ourselves to be more active in social media and holding more contests for some great prizes on our blog. But we need your help. If you have read and enjoyed our book and want to help animal rescue, please join the fun on our blog, retweet our posts and/or send emails to your family and friends to let them know about Max’s Store.  The more books we sell, the more we promote healthy grieving and the more we help rescue. I know it will take some of your time and we all have “Squirrels!” to interrupt our lives, but the other thing I’ve learned from my dogs is they don’t do it alone. They need us to throw the ball. They depend on us to fill their water bowls. And they want us to find that perfect place to scratch that makes them bicycle their legs. We know you’re busy and we’re wagging our tails in appreciation. Now here’s the ball, let’s have some fun. Go fetch!

Tomorrow, many will celebrate “Take Your Dog to Work Day” with a day at the office. For my dogs, Amber and Krissy, however, the day holds no particular distinction since they come to work with me every day. True, I own my own business and our workplace is small, so it is easy to accommodate them. Still, as an employer, I find that having my dogs in the workplace is beneficial for everyone for a number of reasons:

1. Dogs teach us to give every task our best effort. Whether my dogs are chewing a bone, chasing a ball or pulling apart a new toy to get the squeaker, they go after it with gusto. It’s just another way of demonstrating that old adage: “Any job worth doing is a job worth doing well.” Maybe that’s where they get the phrase “Work like a dog!”

2. Dogs reduce stress. A lot of stress is relieved just by taking a moment to scratch the ears or belly of a canine co-worker. Even if you’re having a tough time solving a problem, your dog will tell you you’re the greatest person in the world every time you look at her. In fact, studies have proven that petting a dog can help lower blood pressure-though I don’t know who gets more benefit you or the dog.

3. Dogs can help us look at things in an unusual way. When we’re trying to solve a problem, it is easy to fall into similar patterns. This is where it is comfortable for us as humans. Yet, we only have to glance at Krissy who has undoubtedly fallen asleep in some unusually contorted position that reminds us that there are many ways to look at a problem and comfort is just a matter of interpretation.

4. Dogs motivate us to stretch. In this computer age of information overload, it is easy to sit staring at the computer for hours without moving. Prolonged periods of time writing, reading or researching can put stress on the lumbar region of the back as well as the neck and shoulders. Dogs don’t remain in one position for too long and whenever they get up from a resting position, they stretch first. Daily stretching can provide a lot of physical and mental health benefits including keeping us younger.

5. Dogs remind us that work is more fun when we do it together. Sure there are vendors to bark at, issues to lick and client demands gnawing at us, but all seems doable when we collaborate. In the company of dogs, all things are possible.

6. Dogs encourage laughter. Dogs are naturally spontaneous and playful and they do smile and laugh. (Really!) Whenever Amber or Krissy hears one of us laughing, they love to be a part of it. Amber will throw her bone in the air and Krissy will roll on her back and grin. They don’t let us get too serious, prompt us to take play breaks and generally just make the workplace a more joyful place to be.

7. Dogs make us feel safe. Whether or not we actually are safer .is beside the point. The reality is that my dogs would rather lick someone to death than to bite their butts, but to the unwelcome solicitor we do nothing to discourage their image as ferocious beasts. “NO, WE DO NOT WANT YOUR BULK CANDY, SPA DISCOUNTS, OR YOUR COPIER, CLEANING OR INSURANCE COST COMPARISONS. GRRRR!!!!

8. Dogs can help us stay in the moment. Oil in the Gulf, job layoffs down the street, assistant out with the flu on day of the big presentation-there are plenty of things to worry about in business-but dogs will keep you grounded. There’s nothing to worry about except what’s right in front of you. All you have to do is take some time to chew it over.

Let’s face it—when you’re in business, there are some days we feel like the dog and sometimes we feel like the hydrant. We’re just glad we have always have the benefit of the doubt from our canine companions.